Top 10 differences between weddings in America and Italy

Couples around the world pull out all the stops to celebrate their love—but in very difference ways. From food to fashion to formalities, Italian and American weddings reflect the cultures they come from. Whether you're planning a destination wedding or just curious about how "I do" looks across the Atlantic, here are the top 10 differences between weddings in Italy and America.

1. Ceremony setting

America: Flexibility is the name of the game. American couples marry in houses of worship like synagogues or churches, but also backyards, beaches, barns, and just about anywhere you can imagine. Religious or secular, the focus is on personalizing the experience.

Italy: Many weddings take place in a house of worship. In Italy, where three quarters of the population is Catholic, most weddings happen in a church. Though there are only about 30,000 Jews in all of Italy, many cities and towns have a synagogue where Jews get married. The Roman Jewish community is among the oldest in the world, stretching back more than 2,000 years. You can read more about Roman Jewish history here and modern wedding traditions here.

2. Bridesmaids and groomsmen

America: The bride chooses a group of close friends or family members who support her emotionally and logistically in the lead-up to and during the wedding. They often wear matching dresses or a single color and precede the bride in the wedding processional, then flank the bride during the ceremony. The groom also chooses a group of friends and family to be his groomsmen, who also walk in the processional and flank the groom during the ceremony.

Italy: Bridesmaids and groomsmen are not common. Instead, the couple chooses two people to be testimoni, or witnesses, who sign the civil marriage certificate after the ceremony.

3. Hair and makeup

America: Hair and makeup are generally offered together at a single price per person. The bridesmaids often get their makeup done together the day of the wedding and sometimes wear matching robes or even matching pajamas. Makeup style is heavier compared to Italian makeup, often including elements like contouring and false lashes to create a dramatic look.

Italy: Hair and makeup are two separate services with separate prices. Since bridal parties are not common, the bride and her close relatives get their hair and makeup done without additional friends present. Makeup style is more subdued compared to American makeup, with a focus on natural beauty encapsulated by the phrase "less is more."

4. Food and cake

America: Food is an important aspect of the evening, but often not the main focus. Guests may enjoy a happy hour with an open bar and hors d'oeuvres, followed by either a buffet, family-style servings at each table, or a sit-down dinner with salad and entree. Dessert can include a wedding cake, but may also be non-traditional, like a wall of doughnuts or an ice cream sundae bar. Tiered cakes with elaborate fondant or buttercream designs are the norm, though wedding cakes vary greatly. Couples often preserve the top tier for their first anniversary.

Italy: Food is the main focus of the wedding, and the aspect the guests will most comment on. Guests start with aperitivo, which is similar to a happy hour with hors d'oeuvres but does not usually include an open bar. Instead, guests can choose between white and red wine, prosecco, and the classic Italian spritz. At dinner, guests will be served three courses: two primi, or pasta dishes, followed by one secondo, or meat dish. Dessert includes a wedding cake in addition to other offerings in a dessert buffet, as well as a coffee bar. Digestivi, post-dinner liqueurs like limoncello or grappa, may also be served. The open bar for alcohol begins after dessert, when the dancing starts. The traditional cake is millefoglie—a flaky, layered pastry with cream, fruit, or sometimes chocolate chips—or a sponge cake filled with pastry cream. The sponge cake is typically made on-site by a pastry chef in front of guests.

5. Other events

America: A series of parties can precede the wedding, either months ahead of time or the days before. They include an engagement party, bachelor/bachelorette party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and post-wedding brunch. These parties can also be elaborate, and bachelor/bachelorette parties are sometimes multi-day trips with days of planned activities.

Italy: Though simple bachelor/bachelorette parties are becoming more popular, there is no tradition of having a rehearsal dinner or post-wedding brunch. Italian Jewish weddings, though, do require several religious events the week before the wedding.

6. Timing of the event

America: Afternoon ceremonies followed by evening receptions are typical, with many wedding wrapping up by 10 to 11 p.m.

Italy: Most wedding start later in the day—often around 5 p.m.—and go well past midnight, with many venues closing at 2 a.m. Dinner may not be served until 8 or 9 p.m.

7. Music and dancing

America: A DJ or band may be an active part of the entire evening, with an emcee introducing the couple, the wedding party and close family members. The couple's first dance could take place before or between meals, at which point the dance floor opens up for everyone. Guests may be invited to get up between courses for dancing.

Italy: While music may be playing during the meal, it's usually background or mellow until after the dancing officially begins after dessert. Guests then move to the dance floor until the end of the event.

8. Gift-giving traditions

America: While cash gifts are appreciated, many couples create wedding registries for household items, experiences, or funds for a honeymoon. Though average wedding gift amount varies greatly, couples can generally expect to receive $75 to $150 per guest, and perhaps more from close friends or family members.

Italy: Cash is king. Guests usually give money, either handed directly to the couple during the reception or via a direct transfer using the IBAN number couples provide in their invitations or websites. Again, though the gift amount varies, couples can expect to receive €150 to €250 per guest, and more from close friends or family members.

9. Legal requirements

America: Marriage laws vary by state, but the process is generally straightforward, especially for U.S. citizens. One officiant and a license are usually all that's needed. Couples can use the officiant at their ceremony to sign the license, or can procure a civil license separately from the religious ceremony.

Italy: Getting legally married as a foreigner in Italy is possible, but involves a fair amount of paperwork and time. As a foreigner, you need to provide Nulla Osta, documentation from a U.S. embassy showing you're free to marry, which generally needs to be translated into Italian and apostilled by the state in which you live. Then you must show your passport, birth certificate, Atto Notorio (a sworn affidavit made before an Italian court stating you're free to marry), a divorce decree or death certificate if previously married, and in some cases must publish the date of your wedding for two consecutive weeks at the local town hall. For this reason many international couples opt for a symbolic or religious ceremony and complete the legal process at home.

10. Party favors

America: Favors range from candles to mini bottles of alcohol to luggage tags, with customized names or logos added. The favors are often distributed at the end of the night as guests are departing from the event.

Italy: The traditional favors, or bombonieri, are sugared almonds called confetti. The bitter almond and sweet sugar represent the highs and lows of marriage. Sometimes they are wrapped up in packs of five to symbolize happiness, health, fertility, longevity, and wealth. These packs are given out at the end of the evening, but guests can also take as many as they want at a table set up during the party with bowls of colorful confetti and small plastic bags to take home.

Weddings in Italy and America may look different on the surface, but both are driven by the same forces: love, family and celebration. Whether you prefer an elegant feast in a Roman villa or a bucolic garden ceremony under the Tuscan sun, you can plan a wedding that combines elements from both to get the best of all worlds—and a celebration your guests will never forget.